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  3. nokiabae:

    my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     


  4. flatsound:

    i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field 

    (via wetforest)

     


  5. puppyluver43:

    I don’t like morning people or mornings or people

    (via confirmance)

     


  6. wankstyles:

    consider this , how the fukc is it september 

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     

  7. meladoodle:

    this photo of me playing sport is so funny. the ball isnt even in frame. im just getting beamed up into space

     

  8. electricsed:

    jamborii:

    klefable:

    skatersaint:

    klefable:

    shoutout to girlcode for being fabulous 

    Be prepared to participate in no dick december

    be prepared to be told that no one wants your misogynistic dick anyway you arrogant shit

    I love it when guys use sex as a bartering tool like IF YOU DON’T LOOK PERFECT AND SPARKLY ALL THE TIME I’M NOT GOING TO PLEASE MYSELF WITH YOU
    like BITCH THEY LITERALLY SELL DICKS BIGGER THAN YOURS I DON’T NEED SHIT FROM YOU

    image

    (via chamomillionaire)

     


  9. oknope:

    what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again

    (via confirmance)

     

  10. weallheartonedirection:

    Oh, right. The marathon. The marathon for Disneyland, the marathon chosen especially to run around Disneyland, Disneyland’s marathon. That marathon?

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     


  11. vagisodium:

    if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough

    (Source: trashboat, via fuckyeahloldemort)

     

  12. paxamdayum:

    theladypipsqueak:

    hipstaa-pleazz:

    heavyxhand:

    xviolenceagainstviolencex:

    peanuhbutta:

    pleatedjeans:

    So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist

    Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.

    His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.

    Dead.

    imagine this kid working as a cashierand this one customer is pissing them offso they just casually swipe their tattoo under the scannerafter every itemand later the customer is just likeI DONT REMEMBER BUYING FIFTY CASES OF OREOS. (via)

    whenever someone asks me what tumblr is, i will show them this post

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     

  13. paxamdayum:

    theladypipsqueak:

    hipstaa-pleazz:

    heavyxhand:

    xviolenceagainstviolencex:

    peanuhbutta:

    pleatedjeans:

    So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist

    Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.

    His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.

    Dead.

    imagine this kid working as a cashierand this one customer is pissing them offso they just casually swipe their tattoo under the scannerafter every itemand later the customer is just likeI DONT REMEMBER BUYING FIFTY CASES OF OREOS. (via)

    whenever someone asks me what tumblr is, i will show them this post

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     


  14. slihgtlydyslexic:

    vuls:

    prepare for high school then prepare for college then prepare for your career then prepare for retirement then you’re dead 

    then prepare for skeleton war

    image

    (via fuckyeahloldemort)

     

  15. gradientlair:

    christel-thoughts:

    When you see me show me your bachelors, show me your masters. That’s the best thing you can do for me, as my fan.

    YAAAAASS NICKI. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

    i haven’t found the source video yet.

    I love the way Nicki encourages people with education. I’ve seen her ask about report cards on Twitter and tell young people to bring their C’s up to B’s and B’s up to A’s. And this quote is too awesome. ❤

    (Source: yungnics, via fuckyeahloldemort)