1. zealotarchaeologist:

    i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

    it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

    (via andrewbelami)

     

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  3. rnicrophone:

    bombing:

    cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

    me: you said i got one phone call

    image

    (via zackisontumblr)

     


  4. rnicrophone:

    bombing:

    cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

    me: you said i got one phone call

    image

    (via zackisontumblr)

     


  5. DONT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME…….IM FAKE…AND A HOE

    (Source: geopunk, via cannolis)

     


  6. davidisbeyonce:

    You want a nose job? Sounds a little kinky but ill give it a go

    (via zackisontumblr)

     

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  8. (Source: febru-ary, via the-atm0sphere)

     


  9. jesseplnkmvn:

    you know who is extremely underrated???

    Alan fucking Cumming

    image

    this motherfucker

    image

    best known as Floop in Spy Kids

    image

    and Nightcrawler

    image

    and Glitch if you ever watched the AMAZING mini-series Tin-Manimage

    is an omnisexual,

    imageoccasional crossdresser in plays

    image

    and Tony award winning actor

    he deserves more recognition than he gets 

    (Source: markkruffalo, via wetforest)

     

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  11. girlfae:

    🌿

    (Source: hillbillymagazine, via wetforest)

     

  12. (Source: ryjelsum-dead, via wetforest)

     

  13. (Source: surrealvitriol, via wetforest)

     

  14. regularguy5mb:

    hurleyquinn:

    It looks like the cat is taking a selfie

    "Uhh… my stupid humans photobombed again!!"

    (Source: kickass-pics, via hotcocotruffles)

     

  15. umbreon-ite:

    Ah yes, the flute

    (via davidisbeyonce)